From kendrick@io.com Thu Oct 12 10:02:29 CDT 1995
Article: 24326 of alt.toys.transformers
Path: news.io.com!io.com!not-for-mail
From: kendrick@io.com (Kendrick Kerwin Chua)
Newsgroups: alt.toys.transformers
Subject: TF Weekday 10/11 - Hoist Goes Hollywood
Date: 12 Oct 1995 10:02:00 -0500
Organization: Illuminati Online
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TF Weekday Oct 11 1995 - Hoist Goes Hollywood

The EI/AD: Evil media manipulators from California? Actually, the official
EvilInvention/AlienDevice this episode is that mysterious weaponry
console the Decepticons steal from Wheeljack's lab. But silly B-movies
work about as well...

The plot: Hoist rescues two imperilled stunt drivers on a movie lot, and
his unique robotness spurs the sleazy and careless director to hire him
for a new gimmick. Meanwhile, Dirge is flying back from Cybertron with a
mysterious weapons console stolen from Wheeljack's lab, and crashes in
the very same movie lot. Four other Autobots get stars in their eyes and
compete with Hoist on the lot, causing the director to scrap his original
movie idea and make it a sci-fi epic with 'Evil Alien Robots.' While the
Decepticons retrieve Dirge, they are accidentally filmed by that same
slimy director... When Megatron learns of this he gets worried about the
Autobots being informed, and orders the film destroyed. When Starscream
fails to destroy the negative, Megatron guts him and orders a more
thorough search. Carly and Spike get wise to the plan and hijack the
negative themselves, while our would-be Autobot actors almost fall prey
to sabotage by Rumble on an explosive set. In a daring act, Hoist tricks
Megatron into believing that he's destroyed Spike, Carly, and the
negative film, making the Decepticons fly out and cut their losses. When
they finally see the film, the Autobots realize that the console is a
useless bit of junk that never worked. Hoist renegs on his movie
contract, realizing that his Autobot duties should come first.

The characters: Just how mean can Megatron get? More to the point, just
how guillible can Megatron get? It seems that ol' Bucket-Head gets jerked
around much more than usual in this episode. Starscream's carelessness
really comes to the fore here... as well as his absolute inability to
cover up his own mistakes. Pay close attention to the group of Autobots
who go ga-ga when they get to the movie lot... Tracks, Sunstreaker,
Warpath, and Powerglide all have vanity for a personality hook in some
way, shape, or form. It's too bad that the Autobots are more fleshed out
than the Decepticons in this episode... Dirge, Thrust, Ramjet, and
Astrotrain aren't much more than your standard 'Con goons, running around
and being heavily armed yesmen. Pay close attention to the names of the
human movie stars too; Carrie Fishhook and Harry Edsel are still
recognizable caricatures.

The plot holes: This is a silly episode, but one that pulls it off
well... So we can forgive them for the occasional plot hole or
unexplainable stunt. Not as out-there as 'Kremzeek,' and not as
outrageously bad as 'Child's Play'. I wish they had saved this idea and
used it for the Pretender saga. This same story, almost verbatim, happens
in issue #44 or so of the US TF comic, except with Skullgrin as the guy
who gets hired.
   Anyway... Just how did Dirge get to Cybertron and back, anyway? They
can't see to make up their minds whether the Skyraider/Seekers are
spaceworthy or not, although it seems that Starscream has made the trip
enough times to prove it for sure the one way. Wouldn't it have made more
sense for Astrotrain or Blitzwing to go out there, seeing as how they're
the cargo-space boys? Maybe Dirge had some special access or ability that
necessitated a solo mission.

Moving pictures: Not much to say about the animation, really... Nothing
really spectacular stands out in my mind, although they probably had
effects animators working overtime on fire, water, explosions, and bubbling
cauldrons. The opening scene where Hoist rescues the two drivers is very
nicely done tho, with lots of varied angles and a great wide-shot of
Hoist grabbing onto the one driver's arm at the last minute. Oh, and the
dinosaur sequence is poorly done, but is a lot funnier since Jurassic
Park came out.

The cuts: Can't say. Probably a bit or two of human dialogue; I vaguely
remember Edsel saying something about being a 'real actor,' a line that
evidently didn't make it into the Sci-Fi cut. Perhaps if Sci-Fi took a
cue from the G2 editors and made the intro and the credits shorter
somehow, they wouldn't HAVE to cut so much to accomodate their silly
extra commercials.

Toys they should reissue: Hoist was never a real popular toy (he fetches
maybe $7 or $8 in auctions these days) but he might have been cooler if
he had some of the gimmicks he had in the show. The T-top he has in
vehicle mode is poorly approximated by the flip-top Diaclone pilot's door
in the real toy. Also, his towing gear doesn't DO anything, and only
barely holds on to any other TFs, much less the original Autobot Cars.
Spring-loaded cams and winches and extending grappling arms would make
Hoist muy cool. He needs a orange and white G2 paint job too, just like
those Bob's Barricades things.

Quotables:
"I feel like a fool."
"Do you wanna quit??"
"No, but I still feel like a fool."

"Oh... no... it is... Dash Jordan... hot on our... tail..."

KKC, my best friend from high school is now a stripper in California. I
don't quite know how to react to that...
--
kendrick@io.com - Kendrick Kerwin Chua - WTB: 80s Transformers and GIJoe toys
"What would you have me do with Washington,Destro? Pepper it with spitballs?"
Necronomcon FAQ home page at http://www.io.com/~kendrick/necronomicon or anon
FTP at io.com:/pub/usr/kendrick -Personal home at http://www.io.com/~kendrick