From kendrick@io.com Thu Oct 19 10:30:45 CDT 1995
Article: 24622 of alt.toys.transformers
Path: news.io.com!io.com!not-for-mail
From: kendrick@io.com (Kendrick Kerwin Chua)
Newsgroups: alt.toys.transformers
Subject: TF Weekday 10/19 - Five Faces of Darkness Part III
Date: 19 Oct 1995 10:22:53 -0500
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TF Weekday Oct 19 1995 - Five Faces of Darkness Part III

Computing tip #22 - Save early, save often. You never know when your foot
will catch on the power cord underneath your ergonomically designed
computer desk, plunging that morning's television show review into the
depths of oblivion... Let's try this again.

The EI/AD: A giant pool sifter on Goo #8379B is this episode's evil
invention.

The plot: The Autobot ship is blown away by the force of Quintessa
exploding. Fortunately everybody survives, but only to hurtle blindly
through space. Meanwhile, Galvatron shows up near Earth to shoot down the
EDC defense platform and Blurr and Wheelie's ship. He leaves thinking them
destroyed, but they're languishing on the Jovian moon Io, surrounded by
ferrovorous reptiles. The Autobots land on Goo (not in a ship... they
literally land there), where Springer is dismembered by the giant garbage
sifter. Rodimus deactivates the thing by chucking a handful of Goo into
its otherwise clean gearing system. Blaster gets a warning about the
firefight out near the warp gate, and EDC Captain Marissa Fairborne heads
to Io to investigate. The Quints realize that the Autobots were not
destroyed, and woo over the Decepticons on Charr with energon cubes.
Galvatron arrives on Charr, finding only Blitzwing, who is struggling to
figure out why the Quints seem so familiar. Meanwhile, the other
Deceptions attack the Autobots on Goo. To be continued...

The characters: Blitzwing really isn't an expert in ancient Cybertronian
history, is he? Nor does he seem like the type to be suspicious of
outsiders who are offering a good fight. Maybe Long Haul or Blast Off
would be more appropriate in this role, somebody who is already
considered an outcast among his own. The Quintessons are dropping more
and more hints about being the creators of the Transformers, by inserting
otherwise complete non-sequiters into the dialogue ("You were never
programmed for self-sacrifice!") Onslaught gets his own voice back.
Galvatron pulls a Willy Loman on Cyclonus, contradicting him in an insane
attempt to prove himself right while only contradicting himself. Who's
more of a toad, Cyclonus or Scourge? No prizes for guessing that one. For
you Decepticon sympathizers, the joy of reunion between Blitzwing and
Galvatron is a nice Kodak moment, proof that the Decepticons can enjoy
other emotions besides burning hate and mindless destructiveness. Arcee
falls into the trap of being the overwhelmed damsel who can't stomach any
bit of violence when Springer gets dismembered. Rodimus is naively brave;
but who can say that Optimus wouldn't have done the same to save the
other Autobots around him? This is the episode that really makes you hate
Wheelie and Blurr. Their dialogue is silly and they have nearly no
endearing qualities at all. Oh, and Marissa Fairborne is a Sunbow
in-joke. She's got Lady Jaye's voice and Flint's last name. In case
there's any doubt about her parentage, Flint's real name is Dashiell
Fairborne, which makes Marissa the first of three solid connections
between GIJoe and TF in the cartoon.

The plot holes: Spike is shown with no breathing apparatus or spacesuit,
yet he makes it to Goo in one piece. Why do the Quints need nearly
nine-thousand garbage planets? Or are these supposed to be the remnants
of a once-mighty manufacturing empire? We seem to have life in Sol other
than on Earth... You remember Titan, from 'The God Gambit'? Well now
we've got the Iovian lizards (wait until next episode when we get bats that
transform into plasma bombs. :)

Moving pictures: Watch for a Skydive in the crowd of starving Decepticons
when the Quintessons make their offer. Watch for a Starscream colored
like Astrotrain in the crowd attacking goo. Watch for lots of mouths
moving with no dialogue coming out. The scene where the Quintesson ship
lands on Charr is nicely done tho, as is the background of Autobot City
which doesn't look a damn bit like Metroplex just yet. I suspect these
were both traced or somehow lifted from recycled movie animation cels.

The cuts: Lots of space travel was cut, which actually makes the episode
move a little swifter. Nothing really happens in this episode, so losing
a bit of the fight on the EDC platform or a little bit of hurtling
blindly through space doesn't really do any harm or good. Too bad we lose
a few Rodimus one-liners along the way, tho.

Toys they should reissue: The Diaclone versions of them were cool, but
I'd like to see some new triple changers. A Blitzwing with real wings and
rolling tank treads would be cool to see.

Quotables:
"Forget everything I ever told you about heroism! Run!"

"Meet your end with dignity. I despise whiners."

"Good morning, good morning! *KLAXON* Uh oh, we got a warnin'! Bad
morning! Bad morning!"

"Now what? BeepBeepBeepAlertAlertAlert! That's what! Like I don't have
enough frustration in my life without BeepBeepBeepAlertAlertAlert!"

KKC, man, this was a pain to reconstruct...
--
Kendrick Kerwin Chua - "London? You put the Eiffel Tower back... in London?!"
kendrick@io.com - WTB: 1980s Transformers, US and Japanese, and GIJoe figures
Necronomcon FAQ home page at http://www.io.com/~kendrick/necronomicon or anon
FTP at io.com:/pub/usr/kendrick -Personal home at http://www.io.com/~kendrick