From kendrick@io.com Tue Oct 17 11:46:26 CDT 1995
Article: 24533 of alt.toys.transformers
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From: kendrick@io.com (Kendrick Kerwin Chua)
Newsgroups: alt.toys.transformers
Subject: TF Weekday 10/17 - Five Faces of Darkness Part I
Date: 17 Oct 1995 11:45:23 -0500
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TF Weekday Oct 17 1995 - Five Faces of Darkness, Part I

Here begins the first of the post-movie episodes, our favorite TF shows
to lambast and criticize. Granted, the animation is below par for most of
the run and the characters are disappointingly less mythological than the
original TF crew. But I'm going to do my best to point out the good parts
of the post-movie episodes, as well as uncover some of the goofs and
slip-ups unique to these shows.

A couple of things to remember when watching these: Unlike the original
TF show, TF:2010 was made simultaneously for an American and a Japanese
audience. This means we get to benefit from a lot of anime cliches and
more powerful storytelling tools. Also, we're no longer telling the story
of alien robots who have landed on earth; rather, the story is about a
galactic community, among whom Transformers are just one of many races.

The EI/AD: None really, unless you want to count Frosted Cheerios, being
hawked during the commercials times by such diverse talents as Gilbert
Gottfried...

The plot: The fourth Cyertronian war is over. Unicron has been defeated,
and the Autobots have rebuilt Cybertron while the Decepticons languish on
the dead world Charr. Fighting over a few scraps of energon, the
Decepticons have lost all sense of duty and self-respect, motivating
Cyclonus to go to Unicron's dead cephallus and locate Galvatron, who is
resting in the plasma pools of Throe.  Meanwhile, the Autobots are at the
first Galactic olympics where they're attacked by an unseen evil, which
kidnaps Spike, Kup, and Ultra Magnus.  While Blurr and Wheelie deliver a
replacement Metroplex Transform Cog (size X-tra large) to Earth, Blaster
and Outback find two Decepticons in the middle east and coax the location
of Charr out of them. Meanwhile, Springer and Arcee chase down the
Skugzoid mercenary who was part of the attack and confiscate his
camoflagued ship. The Autobots are convinced that the Decepticons are
behind the kidnappings, and the Skugzoid reports this to a mysterious
employer who turns out to be the real kidnapper.  Meanwhile, Rodimus and
Grimlock go to Charr, where they realize the Decepticons are too weak to
have even begun any kind of attack. They are noticed, and the Decepticons
attack. To be continued...

The characters: I hate to say it, but Springer turns out to be the most
well-acted character in FFOD, and in fact for most of the post-movie
series. I suspect that it's Neil Ross's natural voice; it's brash, full of
machismo and enthusiasm and cynicism. No other character is so alive or so
interesting except maybe for Galvatron. Rodimus is definitely a
shoot-first, ask-questions-later kind of guy. Unlike Optimus, he allows
himself to get frustrated, impatient, and angry while still being wise and
experienced at the same time. Listen closely to Outback's voice; it's Dan
Gilzevan, the same guy who does Bumblebee. Outback is uniquely Australian,
crude and unassuming and dealing from the bottom of the deck.  His
'Decepticon Detector' trick is neat, as is his tribal frisbee bomb.  Arcee
is pink, but she's strong and witty and multi-faceted. Apparently nobody
among the Autobots is a better shot, if we're to believe her modest
claims. Why didn't they make her a Targetmaster rather than a Headmaster?
Perceptor has really found a niche, and he seems much more at home
in the 2005 era than he ever was in 1985 on Earth. Blaster never used to
do that rhyming thing with his speech; that's Wheelie's thing.  Maybe
somebody was thinking Roadblock a la GIJoe when they wrote his dialogue.
Blurr and Wheelie are your usual annoying pair of cookie-cutter
characters, but that's ok. Motormaster is loyal and dependable as always,
sacrificing his own diurnal sequencing for the sake of finding Galvatron.
Wildrider is always sitting around at Square One, and Dead End is
convinced that they're all doomed, doomed, doomed. Astrotrain isn't his
usual assured self. He's down and dejected, but probably with good reason.
Onslaught is talking with the wrong voice; he's supposed to sound like a
British army officer, and instead he sounds like a sideshow barker, even
though it's the same actor doing his voice. And Cyclonus is your regular
one-track guy, loyal to a fault and focused only on the greater
Decepticon glory. Oh, and ever wonder why the Sweeps have moustaches? In
asia, it's sort of an unwritten rule that you don't grow facial hair
until you're wise enough to be respected as a distinguished member of
your community, say about 40 or 50 years of age with accomplishments
under your belt. So in asian culture, a young man with a moustache is
considered either a fool or a criminal. The Sweeps are young and bearded,
and definitely play the fool's errands all through the series.

The plot holes: Why can't the manufacture a new transform cog for
Metroplex on Earth? All through the series, the transform cog turns out
to be a unique and conflict driven plot device, which leads one to
believe that it's hard to come by and easy to lose. Is there any evidence
of human life on the Galactic Olympic world besides Spike, Carly, and
Daniel? We don't even realize that they're there until Spike is almost
kidnapped; an establishing shot of them in the stands would have been
nice. Speaking of which, where did all the other spectators go? Did they
have the good sense to bug out and violate Rodimus' quarantine too? Yes,
the Decepticons are desperate enough for leadership that they're willing
to admit to themselves that Optimus Prime was a great guy... But why
don't any of them have ambition enough to take over? It's possible that
none of them have the guts to accept the responsibility for raising their
brothers out of the muck. If we had a Scorponok or a Bludgeon in that
crowd, the leadership fight might be a little different. The event that
Jazz is in? Is the entire galaxy made up of transforming robot races, or
is that one sport which is racially biased? ("Well, if you can't
transform I'm afraid you'll have to do a 200 mile RUN instead of a 200
mile drive...") Once the Decepticons nearly held the quadrant through
terror. What's a quadrant? It's a large area of space which is
one-fourth of a larger area of space. (*rim-SHOT*) Oh, and I wonder just
how user-friendly Unicron's operating system is, if Cyclonus can just
verbally request a video playback out of his random access.

Moving pictures: The animation is wholly sub-par. Watch for moving lips
with no dialogue from Warpath, Bumblebee, Cyclonus, Motormaster, and
Menasor, suggesting that maybe the Japanese version has more dialogue
inserted for clarity. Take a close look at the crowd of starving
Decepticons, and you'll see a Starscream colored like Ramjet and
Headstrong standing at the far left of the crowd, almost off-camera. So
much for part V being the Predacons' first appearance. They can't seem to
make up their mind how big Unicron's head is, unless Cyclonus and the
Sweeps have this shrinking trick. Oh, the intro for FFOD is much sillier
than the intro segment they use for the rest of the 2010 series, a recap
of the whole of FFOD with psuedo 3-D alliegiance symbols flinging around
the background. Just as a side note tho, I think that the 2010 theme song
is the coolest of the bunch, if you don't count the theme sone for
Transformers:Zone. :)

The cuts: Astotrain's thirty-second re-entry into the atmosphere of Charr
is cut out entirely, skipping straight to the Constructicon dialogue.
Speaking of which, the Constructicons fighting among themselves is cut
out, as is the Insecticons showing up and trying to steal the energon
cubes. Astrotrain's response to Cyclonus' correction ("Well, they were
the same guy...") is cut out, as is the establishing shot of the tiny
planet where the Galactic Olympics are being held. Most of the opening
ceremony is cut out, which wouldn't be so bad except you lose the joke
about the Archadroids being heavily favored in the downhill events. A few
bits of the attack by the Sharkticons in the Shadows(tm) is cut out too,
but none of it is noticable since it's all so horrible anyway. :)
   You know, eventually these silly cable companies are going to hit the
point of diminishing returns. Commercial breaks will get so long that
people will just switch channels or turn off the tube and read a comic
book. Eat that one, USA...

Toys they should reissue: It's time for new Dinobots. New archaeological
studies show that the dinosaurs didn't drag their tails as we've all
previously thought. Museums all over the world are repositioning their
dino-skeletons to show T-rex and the Brontosaurus (or the Apatosaurus or
whatever you want to call him) in great stalking poses, with their
backbones parallel to the ground. Curiously enough, the Pretender
Grimlock seems to be able to hold this position much better than the
original toy. The dinosaurs were ALL fast, sharp, and deadly, and some
sleeker new Dinobots are needed to reflect that change in our knowledge.

Quotables:
"Munch protons!" *BLAM* *BLAM*
"Rodimus is missing a few chips!"
"Nah, I was the same way until I got blown apart a few times..."

"In the days of Megatron it was not like this."
"You mean Galvatron! Hail Galvatron! Hail Galvatron!"
"Well, they were the same guy."

"There is nothing to fear, Unicron is dead!"
*unspeakably hideous moan*
"Must be the wind..."
"There IS no wind in space!"

"You better talk, and make it snappy! 'Cause my buddy here is trigger-happy!"
    (No he's not, we won't see him until Rebirth! KKC :)
"Where is Charr?"
"Coordinates 90B, Mark 8."
"Our charts don't show anything in that sector of space... Never mind, I
found it. Thought it was a smudge on the screen."
"Yeah, that fits their description of Charr."

"Gi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ve, Decepticons! Give 'til it hurts!"

"Fly a lot of Rock-o-roids before?"
"This must be a different model than what I learned on!"

KKC, has eaten $10 worth of Starburst in the past 12 hours. Is probably
going to grow several duodenal ulcers in the near future...
--
kendrick@io.com - Kendrick Kerwin Chua - WTB: 80s Transformers and GIJoe toys
"What would you have me do with Washington,Destro? Pepper it with spitballs?"
Necronomcon FAQ home page at http://www.io.com/~kendrick/necronomicon or anon
FTP at io.com:/pub/usr/kendrick -Personal home at http://www.io.com/~kendrick